Sometimes, I find, that life moves at such a pace that my brain, and my body, and my heart become wholly disconnected. Sometimes I can’t be entirely certain which way I want to go, which way I should go, or even worse, if I should go anywhere at all. I suspect that it isn’t just me to whom this happens. I’m pretty organized as far as things go. I have a loose schedule I live my days on, a planner I live my weeks on, and calendars everywhere to put my reminders on. I admit that sometimes I ignore all of those things completely.
Maybe it’s because I’ve overextended myself so much. Being a mother (and becoming a mother twice) while attending college full time, taking care of a lot of responsibilities, being a “good” stay at home wife, and feeling the need to somehow do something greater than all of us, is draining. Sometimes I need a breather. Unfortunately, none of the aforementioned occupations include paid vacation and temporary workers in their description. So I keep plugging along, knowing that one day, all this will pay off. One day. Besides, if I did take time off I’d probably spend it all thinking of something else to occupy more of what precious little time I have to call my own.